1. I should have told her I love her. That I always will. That she was the one that slipped through my fingers. I should have told her that it hurt cause it never ended, or properly began. I should have.
2. I should have been nicer. A big regret. I’m such a hard ass bitch sometimes and I wish I would have been nicer to a few people. I wish I would have forgave and move on quicker.
3. I should have fought harder. Although, apart of me knows I would have never changed the out come. I should have fought to kept my best friend in my life. I should have fought like hell to keep him. I promised him years ago that if he left or strayed to kick his ass back in line. I promised him that if he changed for the worse because of a girl that I would tell him. I failed him. For that, I regret.
4. I should have stayed single for most of the time. I was single for a total of four months out of high school. I never grew as my own person. I was always dependent on another man or woman to keep me happy and to satisfy my thirst. I may be good at long term relationships, but I suck on my own. I regret not having independence in high school.
5. I should have stayed away from the blade. It took me a long time to learn that slashing my own body wasn’t the answer. I rationalized it by telling myself it wouldn’t matter as long as I didn’t hurt anyone else. I knew deep down that it was my outlet, to keep me from hurting people I loved. I wish I were wiser, but I’m happy I learned from it and that I stopped.
6. I freaking hate that I didn’t tell her I loved her. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me for not trying. Fuck me. Fuck the timing. Fuck us for being on two different frequencies. Fuck it. God damn. That hurts.
Does it count if you are 18?
I hope so haha
I’m not her. I will never fucking be her. You project her onto me. You project her onto your god damn sister. Reason number one I never let myself get to close to you: You got bodies in your closet and you haven’t drowned them in fucking acid yet. Let the fuck go or more people will be running out of your life. I have tried. I have tried like hell to help you. I am not the issue. Move the fuck on. Get the fuck up. Pull yourself the fuck together. And MOVE THE FUCK ON.